PART-I: The story
Close to around 11:00 pm on a Tuesday night, I head out to my
usual late-night desert binge. Soon I am at the red light on an intersection, and see a young lady trying to start her 2-wheeler. I instinctively have the thought to offer
help to her, but I back out thinking, "Oh she'll think that every guy will
come to help when a girl is in trouble and later become over-friendly...." As the green flashes by, I
somehow get over my ego and ask her, "Do you need any help madam?".
And without the slightest sign of hesitation comes the reply, "Actually, YES". I
park my vehicle aside and walk up to her and ask, "can I know what's the
problem?". She says, "I'm out of fuel. I did have a back-up bottle in the
boot but somehow the cap got undone and now it's also empty." And to her bad
luck, tonight for a change, I swapped my motor-bike with dad's scooter, and one can't take out fuel from the scooter without the help of an external tube. The
only way was to tow her bike to the nearest petrol bunk approx 2kms away. I convey the same to her. I give her instructions to hold the bike still and maintain
her balance, while I use the power from my bike to put some momentum into
her's. She sticks to my instructions to the T, and since there is no traffic at
that hour, things were running smoothly.
As soon as we covered a few hundred meters, she started saying this very often, "I'm so sorry, you are taking so much
of a trouble for me". And I kept on telling her either one of these-
"It's okay, absolutely no problem / your folks at home must be worried, so better get
home soon." But she keeps on saying the same thing and it's kinda getting
on to me. And I finally say without mincing my words, "madam, unfortunately these days, very bad things are
happening with the women in our country. so it's very important you get home safely, asap." Having said that, for the remainder of the tow, she only says,
"Am I holding the bike steady? are you fine?" I say, " yes, please continue the same way."
Finally we arrive at the petrol bunk and I ask her one last
time, "Madam, are you doing fine? Is there anything else that you need?" She walks up to me, removes her
helmet and scarf underneath, extends her hand to follow it with a firm hand shake
(stressing this because very few women do that) to say, "Thank you very much,
it really means a lot to help at this hour." I say, "no problem
madam, you take care and reach home safe".
PART- II: The Message
My blogging habit is such that unless something really happens
to me from deep within, I really can't come up with anything worthwhile to
post. Among the host of things that are on my mind especially about the
Nation's affairs from corruption to bifurcation of states, the security of
women was really bothering me. But I couldn't have a say on any of them. All
the major incidents that have been reported, starting from Mangalore, then Delhi
and now Mumbai; Seriously, what's happening people? Can't we just simply sleep
in peace without the worry that the women from our household will return home
safe?
To the entire womankind: do not live in fear. Let this fear not
be a 'Weapon of Concern' for your parents, brother, husband or whoever; that they
use it so effectively that your freedom is snipped. But most importantly, each
of you women need to take a different, smarter approach of something like "fight
fire with fire". A forest fire is put out not by pouring gallons of water
but by simply lighting another fire from the opposite end. Now, over here, this
is a forest of thorns made up by filthy men who have done things that shouldn't
have been done to women. Women out there should brace up themselves against
such filth, armed in various ways so that such people will be nipped in their thought
of committing a sin. Irrespective of you are in India or abroad, you must follow the below :
- Outing: Step out in at least a group of 2 when you now that it's going to be a late-night or a distant trip.
- Vehicle: "Take care of your machine and the machine takes care of you". It could be your car or bike, always keep them well maintained, as an empty fuel tank situation can be avoided 200%.
- As for the unexpected engine breakdowns, flat tyres, etc. Keep your phone ready to dial up your SOS person.
- Phone: Assign speed dial to your most important numbers.
- Phone: students yes, all of you have a very tight budget. And keeping your phone always with balance might be a problem. Call 100/ local emergency numbers. You can dial from any mobile even with zero balance. Call a cop and they'll at least come down until your personal help arrives
- Phone: Have some discipline to keep it well charged at all times, just like you trim your nails without fail.
- Pepper spray: Yes they are now a common commodity in all of the medical, cosmetic, beauty-care shops all over the country. Carry one in our hand bag, your car, your bike. And be smart, READ THE USAGE INSTRUCTIONS. And they cost less than what you spend on a facial.
- Pepper spray: order one now:
- Instincts: Nothing will beat your gut feelings. When you are out, always stay alert. Pay attention to the surroundings. For example: in a building that you just entered for the first time, quickly glance the number of exits it has. Such little observations will make a lot of difference during an emergency.
I
am writing this message from a group of like-minded men-> a friend, a brother, a
boyfriend & a husband who are very much concerned about his- friend,
sister, girlfriend & wife. All of us respect you to be independent, self-reliant
and self-sustained. Trust us, we will be more proud than anybody else seeing
you to be indpendent, etc. But we request you not to confuse our concern for Male-Chauvinism. We care about you more than ourselves. We don't mind when you all are going
out on your own in a bike/car, to late night parties, or whatever. We believe
in you and really don’t care where you go to have fun; but practically, we want
you to keep us informed about your well being at all times, so that incase of an emergency, we will be the first to be by your side. Therefore, during these testing
times for the Urban Indian Woman, we want you to be more smart, instinctive and
aggressive in the approach towards your goals. Together we can.
PART-III : The Bottom-line
I might have never come up with this post had I not encountered this incident. In the end, as I see; it all boils down to that one millisecond when the light turned green and had I gone away....... not that anything would have happened to her, but simply reading about the past incidents in the daily news will be enough to poke my conscious for a life time. I wish that if not all the women in the entire world, at least those in my circle will understand this post and take care of themselves.
