As Far As I Can...Take II

Long Hiatus. Apologies.

1997- Class 7, starts the traditional "Pushing" of each parent. "You're in class 7 now, you'll give your board exams, you must study well, hard work....". The same sentence would be repeated for the next 10 years, with only a change in class and exam each year. Intensity varied with age! No bad incidents, super smooth class of my entire schooling career.....with the end of class 7, came and end to such records, only to set others of different sorts.

1998- Dawn of new age.....shorts to pants at school. Riding by self to school...everything was so cool!!! Teen hormones were in an excited state, 24/7. Math, Physics, Chemistry, Languages were supposed to be full time curriculum, but nothing was more interesting than Biology and Biology it was day in, day out. Literally. Who ever knew anything and everything about SEX was the king. Each and every article about the same was religiously collected by everyone. Newspapers were in every boy's bag, making note, of every detail possible. Thank's to Deccan Chronicle, he made it much easy for us. We love you Editor!!!! In this nonstop activity, I was crowned the "King". Reason- for introducing international articles on the same. 'Cosmopolitan', 'Vogue" were not even published in India at that time. I had copies, up to date.
Needless to say, studies took a bungee. But, thankfully all of the 'active' students recovered during the finals. Other than that, every test, every subject had a red mark, but for biology (atleast so much of extra-curricular activity had some productivity). Short and thin was I, but blame it on the recent exposure to the actual world, punks-in-arms Tarun and Varun all the time, ... 'guts' seemed to become strong for no specific reason. "kaan bhairy" was the only most effective offense of choice, without doubt; until the finish of schooling.
Class 8, the most notorious of entire schooling.

1999- Outstanding in the math class. Thank's to Mr. Sambashiva Rao , for an entire academic year, I was an "Outstanding Student". Damn you Sir, you must have had lil' mercy on a student who always forgot his 'Handbook'. Short you were, who could not even slap our Tall Punk ! Well, our tall punk Mr.Tarun tried to write something on another female teacher's saree, expert was he but, failed due to technical reasons. She went and complained to this short guy, who came in full muscle to slap the tall punk...fail did he!!!!!
We happened to learn by experience, how to deliver the perfect 'bhairy'. Mr. George Joseph (taught us Social Studies) gave them to us-in abundance. Hail George Joseph! I attribute my bhairy giving skills only to you! In all these adventures of us, our most shareef pal, Mr.Sukheeth was crowned "General Captain". Bugger was in charge of pretty much everything! Skipping classes was now a breeze....Throw him a word that I was not interested and I was out in assisting extra-curricular activities (at the most walking up and down the school).

2000: How many of you guys rode a motorbike to school in class 10? I did! Did any of you have a mobile? I did! We were way beyond "cool". How was this possible? Guys, this is why you have cool cousins for! The "who cares, damn you" attitude was ever present. Until, the jackass in me woke up. Ass hole was I. Childish reasons, I stopped talking to my closest pals the General and the Tall Punk, in phases. Heights of personal stupidity. Thankfully we got together pretty soon, but till date I feel so embarrassed that I did such things....Sorry guys!
Like everything comes to an end, so did our glory. I do not have to put the rest in words. End of School.

'01-'03. In one sentence, the most sick and disgusting period of my entire academic period till date. Admitted into a corporate college were able bodied boys and girls were made physically handicapped! And the mind under "Constraints" for one and only thing-books! F*** you Gautami! Best of pals were in the distant of colleges. Tall punk drifted to a different world, The General was busy with chicks and me? Nothing worth a mention.
The only good thing was these 2 years passed away lightening fast. The ONLY good thing.

'04-present: Everything is still fresh and let us take some time, get busy with this maddening world outside, when one fine moment we think- "hey life was so much fun during the bachelor's...." Let's dig them out then.... I say, "who wants a freshly buried corpse? Everybody needs an ancient mummy!"

p.s.- Memories are always there. I guess it's only our conscious mind that takes the decision as to which one's to actively retrieve and the rest as hidden files. After these 2 posts, I stumbled upon lot of hidden files. Mind and Memory, you guys really trigger a powerful chain reaction.

As Far As I Can (Part 1)

When we've got nothing to do, our mind flashes different memories irrespective to the current situation. Why such thoughts pass by at that moment? No clue. So, a day ago I was in such a situation, spiking up the idea of creating this post. Coming up are a list of weird memories, as far as I could reach into my life, starting at the earliest.

1989, Lower Kindergarten. I had an ash-colored hoodie, with a graphic design of racing bicycles. Had a habit of chewing the strings that hung from it. Dad found that out after a couple of days, result- tight slaps.
Around the same time, dad buys me a Five-Star Choc. Mom says that I can have it only after completing the home work. Homework done, I fall asleep. Waking up not to find the choc, I cry for long, never finding the choc. Found it the next day at school-in the bag.

1990, teacher awards punishment by slapping the ruler on the calves and complaints the same to parents during the PTA meeting, for- chewing erasers.

1991, grandpa passes away. That's when I came to know that I had even more relatives as grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins than I already had.

1992, second standard. Blabber, blabber, blabber in class. Teacher seals my mouth up with- Surgical Tape.

1993, third standard. I cannot re-collect what exactly my crime was, but that was the first and only time I did something way too criminal for that age. Forged my dad's signature for a complaint from the teacher.
It was around this time that on our usual way to school (by rickshaw), a few new people joined in that unfaithful day, overcrowding the rickshaw. Unfaithful because, I fall off the thing and that running over my thigh. No serious injuries but, I chose to cry for 2 days, keeping me off from school!! Actually, this lil' incident of mine reminds me a more serious incident that happened with Rajesh, a cousin of mine. He used to commute to school in an auto-rickshaw. And one day he falls from it, injuring himself from head to toe. That was bad.

1994. This was when I found the specialty, comfort and fondness for the last bench in the class. My best buddy Sukheeth's and my pockets were always stained with oil, as we always had different kinds of snacks and sweetmeats to keep us busy during the class.
Meanwhile, this was the fourth standard wherein we where introduced to use a fountain pen for the first time. "HERO" was the most popular fountain pen and my dad bought me one after nagging him for long. My best buddy Sukheeth wanted to use it for the post-lunch session. It lay in front of us, as we prepared for the noon prayers. As soon as we opened our eyes after the prayer, it was gone. Damn! Never expected that it's first day with me would also be it's last!!

1995, I got together with M. Varun Sai Reddy, my partner in sadism for the next 4 years. "kaan bhairies" were our specialty. I cannot name our victims over here, but they had a tough time with us. Worth mentioning was our "life long injection" our own method for an evergreen life. How? It's simple- take a sharp pencil and drive it into the person who wants to live forever.

1996, Enter K. Tarun Kumar, a giant among dwarfs. The tall and heavy beast among sheep, gets newly admitted into our school.

Shaitans & Biryani

The Shaitan wakes up, having a thought- "Feeling damn bored and hungry. Let's go for biryani" and passes this to his fellow Shaitan via text or phone, seldom does a Shaitan has biryani all alone. Simple though it might sound, but for an average Nawabi Shaitan, it's a big plan to finally get to that plate of Biryani, which can make even the noblest of humans into a scavenging Shaitan.

The first hurdle is in the form of who's gonna pick who. Both the Shaitan's have their own steeds of steel in their stables, but also a greater amount of lazy evil attitude. But the impending hunger for the biryani overpowers the evil and one of the Shaitan agrees to give in. The battle is not won by the other Shaitan, as the previous one is out of something which is undoubtedly the most influential commodity of a young Shaitan- Petrol. Curse might he, for the lack of it in the other Shaitan's steed, but the larger interest gives way for such petty issues.

All is not well. Steeds have been mounted, but the destination is not an easy decision. You've got Paradise, Garden, Hyderabad House, Alpha, Bawarchi, Niagara, Sohail, Kababish, Cafe Bahar, Basra Cafe, Shadaab, the list is endless. There goes a flood of inquiry calls asking for the best joint. The discussion turns out to be a matter of National Debate, each Shaitan pitching his own stand, pushing his favorite joint as in the Best of National Interests. In the meanwhile, this inquiry sparks the hunger in the minds of the noblemen. As said before, they are no longer noble after they hear the word "Biryani", saddling up their own steeds without even the thought of having a second thought.

Just as you are now beginning to think, all is now well, not so soon. Who's gonna ride the steed? Who's gonna shell out the moolah? Who's gonna ride back home? Well, all these for the sake of just one thing- Biryani.

p.s.- The Cheif Shaitans involved in the above narration, at any given time- Mrunal Rao, Anand Raj, Kalyan Chakravarthy, Kartic, Mukesh, Praveen, TASK force etc. And, the list of restaurants are not exhaustive. My apologies, if I have missed out any Shaitan's particularly favorite joints.

Anger Management

Anger, seems to be the most important of all the emotions that has to be expressed out in a balanced way. Express it too early, you are tagged "Short Tempered". Express it too late, you cause more damage than a terrorist. The former makes people move around you with constant caution, who rely on your face for the signs of outburst and act accordingly. With the latter, you trip him off the first time, the face fools you with a decent smile. The innocent victims unknowingly gets comfortable with this smile and trips the same person off a couple of times more, until one fine day when they get shot point-blank; from the same face that smiled all these days. The recovery of the victims from the first kind is almost instantaneous, while it's with the second kind that leaves a deep crater on both sides.
On the positive side, this emotion in it's most balance form has pushed an individual in various forms- warriors, athletes, artists, etc., from the abyssal depths of defeat to dizzy heights of victory, etching their names in the pages of history, forever. Yet, the same anger has forced these very individuals to the other side of the fulcrum to take the most hasty decisions in a split second which would throw them again in the same pages of history, this time on those which nobody wish to turn back.
The Shaitan always rides on the waves of this emotion, New moon or Full moon, here the tides are always rising high. This new found sport has been pumping adrenaline in full doses but rarely being productive. There has not been a single "No surfing day" in the past few months as the Shaitan has almost been addicted to this sport. The catalysts for him can be anybody and anything. Shaitan has realized that he's been wasting valuable energy for the wrong reasons, but the "Shaitani" attitude refuses to leave him,no matter what.

Mercury Dip

After the past couple of cold months, the weather seems to give respite to all of us over here. Each day it's getting warmer, more comfortable. But the weather within is getting colder with each passing week. No longer interested in special occasions, parties seem to be more of nuisance rather than a time to unwind, mood swings faster and wider than a pendulum, personal fence has not increased in height or diameter, but normal wood was replaced by an electric one, electrocuting even the most casual trespasser.
The shaitan is seen less often at the kharkhana, which does not mean that he's busy with his own life out of the kharkhana, but feels that the less often he spends time away from the kharkhana, the more colder he is, within.

Scars

Memory seems to be the hardest forged piece of steel. Some of them might gather rust over time and instead of making them weak, they become more lethal with each passing day.

At a usual day of work at our store where we sell furniture, all we do each day is to woo customers with our offers, catchy phrases, "Never before, Never again" deals; so that the more we sell, the more we get paid by our boss. Mr. Joseph, a tall man wearing a black cowboy hat walks in with his three daughters ten minutes before closing time. He asks me for a "best mattress available" and I show him a couple of them. He sits on each one, and asks his kids to jump over to check how well they're bouncing on it (meanwhile, I was saying to myself- what freak of a dad and kids are they!).
While all this was going on, I was convincing him with my before mentioned techniques/tricks/whatever in convincing him to buy the mattress. Then he tells me that he's not been sleeping well and before he could continue, I re-assure him that this particular mattress will solve his sleep deprivation, blab blah. He comes closer to me and says, "Young man, I've not been sleeping each night since August. My wife died in my arms, on our bed".

Shaitan K.

Meow Fights

A week without any new posts. Not that I was so busy to not leave any chance to 'idle'lize my mind, but did not want to fill the kharkhana with junk. Anyway, last evening I suddenly slipped into the memoirs of my Bachelor's days....As I was enjoying the good ones, I got held up at this particular point- Why can't a set of girls (married/unmarried/in-r'ship/out of r'ship) be the best of friends??

At one point, they're like a "Paradigm" of friendship and within no time it seems like even the long gone cold war seems like a no-match when compared to the cold war between these belligerents. The worst affected are the common friends of these women who simply hear the phrase "What do I know?", when asked about the other! These friends are poorer than the actual refugees, who cannot take refuge in either of the parties for obvious reasons. And when you take the bold initiative to mediate a Peace process,- Damn!!! you just cannot hear what they talk about each other!!!!!

When you thought all was over, one fine day when you wake up, all seems to be fine between them, God knows how......and you have the biggest realization of your life, that you are a -FOOL.

This is not a complaint about girls or "Men are superior" argument, but simply a question. Is anybody there to answer this, or the Creator Himself should descend the heavens to answer?

( Or actually, is this why the Creator never descends to earth cos He's bound to answer this one?)